10 Things to Think About if You Are Getting Divorced with a Special Needs Child

 Posted on August 13, 2025 in Child Custody

Divorcing as a parent of a special needs child presents unique concerns and challenges, just as life before divorce did. Your child may rely on routines, therapies, medical support, educational services, and emotional consistency that do not always align with standard custody schedules or support agreements.

At our firm, our Oakland County divorce attorneys have been helping families across southeastern Michigan navigate divorce and child custody for nearly 25 years. We offer compassionate, personalized representation that reflects the real-world needs of every client, including those raising children with autism, ADHD, developmental delays, physical disabilities, chronic health conditions, and other unique challenges. Whenever possible, we use mediation and collaborative law to help parents resolve disputes respectfully. But when court is necessary, we are prepared to advocate clearly and decisively.

If you are considering or facing divorce, here are 10 critical things to think about when you have a child with special needs.

Parenting Time Must Match Your Child’s Abilities

Standard parenting schedules are not always appropriate for children with special needs. Sensory sensitivities, therapy appointments, sleep routines, or medical equipment may make frequent transitions harmful or overwhelming. Your parenting plan should reflect what actually works for your child, not just what is common or convenient. Courts in Michigan are open to highly customized plans, but they must be well-documented and supported by medical or educational professionals if possible.

One Parent May Need Sole or Primary Decision-Making Authority

Michigan law allows courts to allocate the authority to make decisions about education, health care, and other major issues jointly or solely. If one parent has handled IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meetings, therapy coordination, and doctor visits, and the other parent is less involved or unwilling to participate, the court may grant sole legal custody on those specific issues.

That said, Michigan courts typically favor shared decision-making unless doing so would harm the child or create a deadlock. If you want sole legal custody, be prepared to make a strong case for why it serves your child’s best interests.

Child Support Can Continue Past Age 18

Under Michigan law, child support usually ends when a child turns 18 or graduates high school. But for children with significant disabilities, that cutoff may not be appropriate. In some cases, courts may extend support voluntarily, especially if the parents agree. If your child is likely to require lifelong care or will be unable to become financially independent, you should plan for long-term financial support now.

Consider a Special Needs Trust

Direct payments of support or property to your child could disqualify them from benefits like SSI or Medicaid. A special needs trust allows parents to contribute to their child’s future without jeopardizing eligibility. Divorce is a good time to establish this structure, especially if one or both parents are making lump-sum payments or transferring assets. We can connect you with estate planning professionals who specialize in this area.

Health Care Decisions May Be More Difficult After Divorce

If your child requires frequent doctor visits, specialist care, durable medical equipment, or behavioral therapy, your parenting plan should specify how medical decisions will be made and how costs will be shared. In high-conflict cases, parents may disagree about treatments or providers. A detailed plan helps avoid future disputes and ensures your child’s care is not delayed or compromised.

Education Plans Must Remain Consistent

Children with IEPs or 504 Plans need stable school support. If parents live in different school districts, you must decide which district will be responsible for services. Courts may consider proximity to school, who attends meetings, and how transitions between households will affect educational progress. You may also need to discuss who will advocate for your child in meetings, whether both parents will attend, and how disagreements will be resolved.

Think About Planning for Future Guardianship 

If your child will not be able to make independent decisions as an adult, one or both parents may need to become their legal guardian after age 18. This allows continued decision-making in areas like health care, housing, education, and finances. While guardianship is a separate legal process, divorce is a good time to discuss who will take on that role, and whether both parents will agree to a joint guardianship arrangement.

Mediation May Be a Smart Strategy for Resolving Differences

Parents of children with special needs often know more than anyone else what their child needs to thrive. In our experience, mediation or collaborative divorce can create more functional, long-term agreements, especially when both parents are committed to the child’s care. A mediated parenting plan can include customized schedules, contingency plans, and care structures that courts might not impose. We always explore these options with clients first, before resorting to litigation.

You Need to Plan for Your Own Respite and Support

Caring for a special needs child is physically and emotionally demanding. During divorce, you must also care for yourself. Your parenting plan should include realistic time for rest and support, so you can continue to be the parent your child needs. We help parents build schedules that consider each party’s work, therapy routines, medical appointments, and the parent's own mental health. 

You Are Still a Family, Even After Divorce

It may not feel like it now, but you and your co-parent are still part of the same support system, even if your marriage is ending. Divorce does not change your child’s diagnosis. It does not reduce their need for routine, connection, or love. 

At our firm, we treat every case involving a special needs child with deep care and strategic clarity. We never use a one-size-fits-all approach. Your parenting plan will be built around your child’s real life.

Contact an Oakland County, MI Custody Attorney

Our firm has proudly served Novi and the greater southeastern Michigan region for nearly 25 years. We offer free consultations and focus on providing thoughtful, solution-oriented guidance to every client.

If you are going through a divorce and parenting a child with special needs, we are here to help you build a stable future that respects your child’s needs and your role as a parent. Whether through mediation, collaboration, or courtroom advocacy, we will stand with you every step of the way.

Contact a Novi, MI custody attorney at Elkouri Heath, PLC to schedule your free consultation. Call 248-344-9700 today.