The month of October has been designated as Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM). Domestic violence is defined as the “willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another.” More than 10 million adults experience domestic violence each year. On a typical day, local domestic violence hotlines receive approximately more than 19,000 calls. This comes out to 13 calls per minute. Here in Michigan, it is estimated more than 35 percent of women and 25 percent of men will experience some form of domestic violence in their lifetimes. When it comes to domestic violence, it is not only the adult who is the victim, but any children who live in the home are also victimized. 

Domestic Violence and Child Custody

The above statistics show just what a common issue domestic violence is for families across the country. Not only does the violence affect the victim, but it also has a harmful impact on children who witness the abuse. It is estimated that children witness 70 to 80 percent of all domestic violence assaults that occur.

Studies have shown that children who are exposed to domestic violence suffer great emotional harm. They often suffer excessive sadness or worry, and fear of abandonment or harm. Many children lose their ability to have empathy for others and/or they may feel socially isolated.

There is no denying the impact that a divorce has on a person’s life. Even if they are the spouse who wants to end the marriage, there could still be effects on their family and social relationships that they may find jarring. There is also the financial impact a divorce has. Many people find that after a divorce, their credit score has gone down. It is not the act of divorcing that can cause this decrease, but rather the financial obligations and standing that happens during and after the divorce process. The following are some steps you can take to help minimize that impact.

Protecting Credit Scores

Surveys have found that approximately 55 percent of women and 40 percent of men find that their divorce creates a negative impact on their credit score. While women experience the higher impact, they also report higher incidents of their former spouse ruining their credit – 50 percent – compared to only 37 percent of men who face the same consequences because of their former spouse.

The breakdown of a marriage can be difficult for both spouses, and in some cases, marital issues may become public knowledge due to details that a couple, their children, or other family members or friends share on social media. Since so many people are used to sharing information about themselves when they use Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, or other social networks, they may expect that they can continue to discuss their lives online during the divorce process. However, it is important to understand what types of information should or should not be shared and how posts on social media may play a role in a couple’s divorce.

Social Media Posts as Evidence in a Divorce Case

Information posted online, such as photos or status updates, is generally available to the public. This means that anything posted to social media could potentially be raised during the divorce process. Even posts that a person believes are private could be uncovered by the other spouse or their attorney. Because of this, it is important to treat everything posted on social media as something that could potentially be raised in divorce court.

However, social media posts will only play a role in divorce if they are relevant to the legal proceedings. For example, a person may have found posts that indicate that their spouse is having an affair, and they may believe that this information could be used to show that the other party is responsible for their divorce. However, Michigan is a no-fault divorce state, and a divorce petition will not include any fault-based grounds for divorce or state that either spouse is to blame for the end of their marriage. This evidence would not be relevant when filing for divorce, but it could potentially be raised later in the divorce process if it affects decisions about issues such as the division of marital property.

Countless studies show that children thrive with the love and support of two parents. However, sometimes, those parents are not related to the child by blood. Stepparents often play a crucial role in a child’s life. However, stepparents do not have the same legal rights and protections as biological parents unless they legally adopt the child.

If you are a stepparent who would like to adopt your stepchild, read on to learn about the stepparent adoption requirements and procedures in Michigan.

Terminating the Biological Parent’s Parental Rights

Children can only have two parents by law. This means that you may need to get a parent’s parental rights terminated before you can adopt your stepchild. Some parents voluntarily agree to give up their parental rights – especially if they recognize that the stepparent is in a better place to care for their child. Other parents refuse to surrender their parental rights. If the child’s biological parent does not want to give up his or her rights to allow you to adopt the child, you will need to attend a hearing and provide sufficient reasoning for the termination of the parent’s rights.  

The term “high-conflict divorce” may initially seem redundant. After all, a couple would not be seeking a divorce if the marriage did not involve a significant amount of conflict. However, some divorce cases are much more contentious than others.

To end your marriage, you and your spouse will need to decide how to divide real estate, vehicles, bank account balances, and other assets. If you have children, you will need to develop a parenting plan that allocates parental responsibilities and parenting time. You may also need to address additional issues like spousal support. If you and your soon-to-be-ex disagree about the terms of your divorce and are unable to discuss these issues productively and rationally, you may be in store for a high-conflict divorce. Fortunately, there are things you can do to prepare.

Work With a Divorce Attorney Skilled in High-Conflict Divorce Cases

Just like other professionals, no two divorce attorneys are alike. When choosing a divorce lawyer to represent you, it is important to select an attorney capable of successfully handling a high-conflict divorce. Make sure your lawyer has sufficient experience in negotiations as well as litigation. Ideally, your divorce case will resolve through an out-of-court settlement, but you should make sure your lawyer also has the experience and knowledge needed to represent you during a trial if necessary.   

Did you know that older people make up a huge percentage of divorcing couples in Michigan? So-called “grey divorce” is on the rise in Michigan and across the U.S. 

If you are thinking about getting divorced and you are over age 50, it is important to realize that you may face unique obstacles during your divorce case. You may need to address complicated financial and legal issues including the division of assets and retirement funds as well as spousal support. A knowledgeable divorce lawyer with experience in gray divorce cases can help you understand the challenges you may face during your divorce and meet those challenges head-on.  

Divorce When You Are Close to Retirement

If you are in your 50s or 60s, the effect of your divorce on your retirement plans is probably a top concern. Understandably, you want to ensure that you will still have the retirement funds you need to live independently once you have stopped working. Retirement accounts are usually classified as marital property during a Michigan divorce. This means that both spouses have a claim to the funds contained in the retirement account regardless of which spouse’s name is on the account. You may need to use a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) to divide retirement funds. The funds that accumulated before the spouses got married may be considered separate property to which only the named spouse has a claim.

Earlier this year on our blog, we addressed the question of what happens to the marital home in a divorce. In that post, we noted that in most cases, one spouse either buys out the other’s share of the home, or the spouses agree to sell the home and divide the proceeds. However, you may be wondering whether these are the only options. Perhaps you find it hard to bear the thought of parting with your home at the moment, but you lack the financial resources to keep it on your own.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, it may be possible to come up with a more customized solution, especially if you and your spouse are willing to consider an alternative dispute resolution method like mediation or collaborative divorce. Here, we look at some of the more creative options for handling your home and living arrangements after a divorce.

Alternatives to Dividing the Marital Home in Divorce

In many divorce cases, children are the driving factor for seeking alternative arrangements for the family home. As a parent, it may be important for you to keep your children’s home lives as stable as possible as your family goes through such a monumental change. The location of your home may also be important for your children to continue attending the same school or to be close to their friends and other relatives. A couple of options that parents often consider include:

When parents are dealing with legal child custody matters, including during the divorce process or after establishing paternity, the situation can sometimes become contentious. In high-conflict cases, parents are often confronted with the prospect of litigation and the time, costs, and stress that it entails. However, there is an alternative to litigation for parents who are willing and able to work together. It is well worth considering the option of negotiating a child custody agreement for the many benefits that it can bring.

Advantages of a Child Custody Agreement

Michigan family courts allow parents to work together on a child custody agreement on their own, or with the assistance of alternative dispute resolution methods like mediation or collaborative divorce. Negotiating an agreement with your child’s other parent may be the right decision for a number of reasons. Some potential benefits to consider include:

• Maintaining control over the outcome. In child custody litigation, the court has the ultimate authority to dictate the terms of your arrangement. Though a judge will make every effort to account for the child’s best interests, you may feel that you are better equipped to make these decisions as your child’s parent. When you negotiate a custody agreement, you and the other parent can decide on your own terms, allowing you to implement personalized solutions that meet your family’s individual needs.

  ...

When it comes to property division in a divorce, Michigan is an “equitable distribution” state, meaning that spouses must divide all marital property fairly in accordance with the specific details of their situation. However, people are often surprised to learn just how many assets may qualify as marital property. Marital assets include not only properties that spouses own jointly, like the home they live in but also assets held in one spouse’s name that were acquired during the marriage. This means that much of your retirement savings could be subject to division if contributions were made to your accounts while you were married.

While dividing a retirement account is often a necessity during the divorce process, doing so is not simple. Without taking the proper steps to divide your account, you could find that the assets steeply decline in value due to income taxes and early withdrawal penalties. For this reason, it is important to understand whether you need to obtain a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, or QDRO, that allows you to divide your account while protecting the savings.

Do You Need to Divide Your Retirement Account?

The first question you should ask yourself to determine whether a QDRO is necessary is: Do I actually need to divide my retirement account? If you have any accounts that contain only premarital contributions, those accounts likely remain your sole property. You may also be able to keep a retirement account intact if you have a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement that specifies that the account will be yours in the event of a divorce.

Although the Michigan divorce process ends with a legally binding resolution, this may not end all conflict between the parties. Ongoing issues involving child custody, child support, and spousal maintenance can lead to new disputes in the years following a divorce, and it may be necessary to petition the court for modification or enforcement of the divorce order. However, if you can work out these post-divorce matters with your former spouse in mediation before you bring them before the court, you may save yourself time, energy, and stress.

Mediation for Post-Divorce Modifications

The child custody order is one of the most common elements of a divorce resolution that may need to be modified as time passes. You may feel that the order should be changed because of a change in your work schedule, a move or relocation, or a change in your children’s needs and preferences as they get older. However, you may find it difficult to reach an agreement with your children’s other parents regarding the details of the modification.

This is where the services of an experienced mediator can be beneficial. A neutral mediator can meet with you and your former spouse to work through any proposed changes to parenting time and decision-making responsibilities and come to an agreement that satisfies both parents and continues to provide for your children’s best interests. You can then file your mediated agreement with the court for approval.

The adoption process typically involves a great deal of complexities and obstacles before you can welcome your adopted child home. In the face of such adversities, it may seem like the easiest option is to give up. However, there are actions you can take to overcome these hurdles and successfully become an adoptive parent. An obstacle that prospective adopting parents should be aware of is the possibility of their adoption petition being denied. Unfortunately, even relatives to the child or stepparents who have helped to raise the child may be denied at this point. This rejection can be combated by appealing the decision in court.

Reasons a Petition May Be Denied

While it is unlikely for an adoption to be denied, it is still possible and needs to be considered when maneuvering through the adoption process. There are a wide range of reasons why your petition for adoption may be denied, including the following:

• You have a criminal felony on your record that you failed to disclose in your application

  ...

In Michigan, when a couple is married, the spouses are both accepted as being the legal parents of their child. This holds true for both opposite-sex and same-sex couples. But what about when couples are not married? It can be quite difficult to figure out parental rights, such as child custody. If you are currently dealing with child custody issues, understanding your rights is key.

Unmarried Fathers in Michigan

Unmarried mothers are presumed to have primary custody of their children unless the biological father establishes paternity and attains a court order of custody rights. Unmarried fathers can establish paternity voluntarily with the agreement of the mother by signing an Affidavit of Parentage either at the hospital when the child is born or later on. If paternity is contested, a father can establish parentage through the court in a process that typically involves genetic testing to determine if there is a biological relationship.

After establishing paternity, a father will need to take additional legal action to pursue a new custody arrangement. Keep in mind, however, that under Michigan law, it can be very difficult for a biological father to establish paternity and get custody rights if the child’s mother is married to another man, as that man will already be presumed to be the child’s legal father.

The divorce process varies dramatically from couple to couple. A young couple who does not own significant assets and does not have children will typically have a much easier divorce than a couple with considerable property, complex assets, or contentious child-related issues. If you or your spouse owns a business or professional practice, significant retirement assets, real estate, or investments, or if your financial situation is otherwise complicated, you may want to consider a collaborative divorce.

Advantages of Using Collaborative Law to Resolve Divorce Issues

A collaborative divorce is one in which the couple agrees to work collaboratively with attorneys and other professionals to resolve divorce matters without going to trial. In a divorce utilizing collaborative law, each spouse hires an attorney sufficiently experienced in collaborative law. The spouses and their lawyers sign a “collaborative agreement” promising to:

• Freely exchange necessary information and documentation, including financial documents

  ...

If you are getting divorced, you may be unsure of what to expect. After all, the average person has little to no experience with legal matters, especially those as personal in nature as a divorce. To get a divorce in Michigan, you and your spouse will need to address issues like the division of marital assets, child custody, and spousal support. If you cannot reach an agreement about these issues, your divorce case becomes a “contested divorce.” Read on to learn about how discovery works in a contested divorce case in Michigan.

Discovery in a Michigan Divorce Case

The term “discovery” refers to the phase of the divorce process when each party (and his or her attorney) are gathering relevant evidence and facts. The parties exchange information about finances, child-related concerns, and other issues relevant to the divorce case. Informal discovery involves a voluntary exchange of information. In a highly contested divorce, various legal tools are used to gather information through a formal discovery process.

What Should I Expect During Formal Discovery?

If either party is reluctant to provide the necessary information or a party has lied about information, formal discovery tools may be used to compel the exchange of information. Your lawyer may use discovery tools such as:

If you are in the middle of a divorce, you may wonder if you should get into a new relationship right away or wait until the divorce is finalized. While dating someone new may help heal your heart and reduce stress, you should put it on hold until your divorce is officially over. This may seem difficult right now, but waiting to start a new relationship will be beneficial to you in the long run.

Why to Consider Not Dating in the Middle of Your Divorce

Although there is no official law that forbids you from starting a new romantic relationship during your divorce, it may negatively impact the proceedings. There are several potential consequences of dating while going through a divorce.

Here are a few of them:

When a member of the military or the spouse of a military member files for divorce, they face certain challenges and issues that other divorcing couples may not face. For example, one major issue that divorcing military spouses may need to address is determining how military retirement benefits are distributed between spouses. When a person joins the military, they receive various benefits, such as free or subsidized healthcare, access to various military bases, and generous retirement benefits when their time in the service is done. Those benefits could become an asset of interest during a divorce, which is why you should know how they are handled in the event you and your spouse disagree.

Divorce and the Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act

According to the Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act (USFSPA), a person is only eligible to receive payments directly from the Department of Finance and Accounting (DFAS)  if they meet the requirements of the “10/10 rule.” This rule states that spouses must have been married for at least 10 years, and the service member must have served 10 years during the marriage. If the couple was not married for 10 years, or the serving spouse did not serve 10 years, then the other spouse is not eligible for payments directly from DFAS.

A Spouse May Still Receive Retirement Benefits Through Their Divorce Agreement

However, a person still may be able to receive a portion of their spouse’s military retirement pay if it is included in the divorce agreement. In addition to setting the 10/10 rule, the USFSPA allows each state to apply its own rules and include military retirement benefits in the property division process. In Michigan, courts try to distribute marital property in an equitable manner, meaning that it may not always be a 50/50 split. If a person is awarded a portion of their spouse’s military benefits in their divorce settlement, they may receive up to 50 percent of the total retirement award. 

Divorce can change many aspects of your life, including your finances. Without a second income to depend on anymore, your entire financial situation may look different once your divorce is finalized. However, if you enlist the help of a Michigan divorce lawyer and financial advisor, you can get control of your finances.

Things to Do and Not to Do

There is no question that divorce can be extremely difficult. Things get much harder, however, when you are feeling like you do not have control of your finances. The good news is that with a little organization, you can easily put yourself in a much better position--and probably much more quickly than you might have thought possible. 

Here are a few financial do’s and don’ts of divorce to consider.

Not all marriages have a happy ending. While most people go into a marriage thinking it will last for the rest of their lives, some marriages do end in divorce. Divorce is not uncommon in the United States; depending on the source that is consulted, anywhere from 35 to 50 percent of couples who get married will eventually end up getting a divorce at some point. For many couples who have children, one of the biggest uncertainties that they must deal with is wondering how the divorce will affect their children.

Divorce May Not Be as Harmful as You Think

Many people believe that divorce is one of the worst things that you could subject your children to. While it would be a lie to say that divorce does not affect children, it is not always as harmful as parents fear. In fact, there have been multiple studies conducted that have found that it is not divorce, specifically, that has a negative effect on children — it is conflict. When parents subject their children to constant conflict is when their children can suffer from various negative effects, such as behavioral issues and trouble with future romantic relationships.

Signs to Watch For

Even during the most amicable of divorces, children can be affected by their parents’ split. If you feel overwhelmed, your children likely feel even more overwhelmed than you. Here are a few signs that your child may be struggling with your divorce:

Originally published: March 2018 -- Updated: May 2021

Laws are constantly changing in order to provide better services and protections to people in the community. Recently, child support laws in Michigan have been updated to contain information about what to do when a parent is incapacitated. In many cases, when someone becomes incapacitated because of a disease, illness or injury, it may not be certain when they will recover and begin earning income again. The section added to the Michigan child support manual addresses these types of situations and provides information on what to do in those situations.

Getting a divorce can be financially disastrous. Depending on the circumstances of your divorce, a divorce can cost anywhere from thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars to complete. Getting a divorce when you are close to retirement can be especially devastating. In many cases, retirement accounts are considered to be marital property and are subject to division during the property division phase of your divorce. Fortunately, the Social Security Administration (SSA) allows individuals to collect Social Security benefits through their ex-spouse’s benefit to help supplement their income during retirement.

Qualifying for Benefits Through Your Ex-Spouse

In order to claim benefits through your ex-spouse’s work record, there are certain criteria that you must meet. You can claim up to half of the amount of your ex-spouse’s benefit even if they have remarried, however, all of the following must be true to be eligible to claim this benefit:

• Your marriage lasted for at least 10 years.

  ...