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Oakland County parenting time attorney

Divorce can be messy, even in the best of circumstances. Emotions run high, and you and your spouse may get caught up in getting even with one another rather than what is best for everyone involved. If you have children together, it is imperative that you consider their interests when making decisions. Thankfully, there are steps that you can take to ease the transition. 

1. Reassure the Kids

Children do not always cope well with divorce, but it is often because they fear what might happen. Their worries can vary, but the solution is usually the same. All they really need is consistency and reassurance. They need to know that both of their parents will be there for them as life changes and that they are not at fault for the dissolution of your marriage. 

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Novi, MI child custody lawyerParenting is a job that never ends, even if you and your partner are no longer together. When you choose to get a divorce, you will likely need to create a joint custody arrangement, and both parents will typically have parenting time (sometimes referred to as visitation) with the children. Regardless of your child custody arrangements, it is important to provide a supportive and caring environment for your children--even if the divorce is not amicable. Adjusting to new parenting time arrangements can be difficult, but the following tips can help you and your child become accustomed to the changes.

1. Keep a Smile On

Parenting time should be a positive experience, especially for your children. Even if you and your ex do not get along, it is likely that you will still see them when picking up or dropping off children. During these times, it is important to avoid exposing your children to conflict. Refrain from arguing in front of the children or speaking negatively about your co-parent to them. If you have issues with your former spouse that you need to deal with, you should set up a different time and meeting place to discuss those issues when the children are not present.

2. Be On Time

Since you do not get to be with your children full-time, you need to make them your priority when you are with them. Make sure you are prompt when picking them up and try to reschedule any work calls that you may have during that time period. Make a calendar and share it with your former spouse so that there is no miscommunication about who will be taking care of the children.

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Novi MI parenting plan lawyerDivorce affects your family in many ways, but children are often the most affected by divorce. Children benefit from having both parents in their lives, even if their parents are not together anymore, so it is beneficial to develop a co-parenting plan with your ex. 

A co-parenting plan will expressly state a few key things about the development of your child or children, and it is always a good idea to have it in writing so you can refer back to it later. After the divorce, you may not want to keep in contact with your ex, but it will help your children if you can be civil with each other. A parenting plan will help everyone stay on the same page about child custody matters.

Areas To Focus On In Your Plan

Your parenting plan will be your guide for what you and your ex-spouse will handle parenting decisions as your child grows. It is important to have some main focus areas, which can vary depending on your situation, but generally, there are five key areas to focus on. 

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MI family lawyerThe majority of parents who get divorced will share parenting time of their children. It is rare these days that you see one parent given sole custody and decision-making responsibilities and the other parent left with nothing. Most divorce courts recognize that unless a parent is abusive or detrimental to the child’s wellbeing, it is in the child’s best interest to have both parents active and present in his or her life. Co-parenting is never easy, especially if your divorce was less-than-amicable -- which most are not. Though it will not come without serious time and effort on your part, successful co-parenting can be achieved and these tips can help:

Realize You Now Have a Different Relationship with Your Ex

Though you are no longer married, your relationship with your ex will be forever because of your child. It will not be the same relationship that you had during your marriage and that is important to realize. It is easier to think of your co-parenting relationship like a business relationship - it does not matter how you feel about your ex. What matters is the happiness and wellbeing of your child.

Work on Your Communication

Communication is key to successful co-parenting. Though you may still have feelings of anger or resentment toward your ex, you must put those aside for the sake of your child. It can help to keep a business-like tone when talking to your ex. It reminds both you and them that your new relationship is not one that concerns feelings. It can also be helpful to keep your conversations strictly about your child. It does not matter what you want or they want - what does your child want and need?

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