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Four Tips for Effectively Managing a High-Conflict Michigan Divorce

 Posted on April 30, 2022 in Divorce

Michigan high conflict divorce lawyerResearch has consistently shown that certain types of personalities are prone to behaviors that contribute to high levels of conflict. While conflict is almost never driven by just one spouse, a high-conflict person can make life very difficult by having extreme behaviors, black-and-white thinking, and unpredictable emotions. 

Unfortunately, one risk of divorcing someone with a high-risk personality is that these behaviors tend to escalate during the loss of an intimate relationship. While divorce is never easy, this can make the divorce process much more difficult. If you anticipate a high-conflict divorce, hire a great Michigan divorce attorney and follow these four tips. 

Create a Safe Exit Strategy

Spouses who engage in emotional, physical, or financial abuse during a marriage are likely to be increasingly abusive when you try to leave. Before you tell your partner that you are ending the relationship, make sure you have an exit strategy that gives you somewhere safe to stay. If your spouse is financially abusive, you will want to make sure that you have savings or access to a line of credit if your spouse cuts you off financially. 

Prepare Yourself for False Allegations

False allegations of abuse can be easily made, must be taken seriously, and are often difficult to disprove. Avoid doing anything that could be misinterpreted as abusive. Do not make threats, even if you think they are empty. When you leave the house, take photographs of the condition you left it in so you cannot be credibly accused of destroying property. If false allegations are made, stay calm and do not try to immediately defend yourself or change your spouse‚Äôs mind; talk to your lawyer about the best way of handling the situation before taking any action. 

Find a Great Therapist

You are going to experience a lot of frustration as you go through the divorce process. While family and friends can be great supports, they can also get burned out. It is not uncommon for a high-conflict spouse to make every minor interaction difficult to manage, but frequent complaints are hard to listen to, no matter how much someone may sympathize with you. Have a great therapist, write in a journal, and focus on preserving your sanity without burdening those you love. 

Communicate Carefully

Once you have begun the divorce process, do not communicate with a high-conflict spouse in a way that can be produced in court against you. Never leave angry voice messages or send bitter texts. Consider using an email address exclusively for communicating with your spouse and do not talk to them on the phone or in person if at all possible. Experts recommend using something called the BIFF method of communication - brief, informative, friendly, and firm. 

Contact a Farmington Hills, MI Divorce Lawyer

Going through the divorce process with a high-conflict spouse can present challenges above and beyond the typical stress of divorce. At Elkouri Heath, PLC, we are committed to helping our clients manage whatever challenges they face. You can schedule a complimentary consultation with one of our knowledgeable Farmington Hills divorce attorneys by calling us today at 248-344-9700. We look forward to speaking with you.  




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