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Posted on in Divorce

Is Divorce Better Than An Unhappy Marriage?Divorce is a scary decision to make and often takes couples years to come to. Splitting from your spouse may not sound like a good option, especially if you have been with them for over a decade. You become accustomed to living with another person, even if you do not necessarily get along with them, and the alternative can seem like a worse situation. For those considering divorce, it can be difficult to find the encouragement you need to do so from loved ones. Their ties to you and your spouse can make them a non-neutral party who are rooting for your relationship rather than your best self. Our divorce attorneys at Elkouri Heath, PLC, work to put you first, regardless of your relationship, and encourage our clients to look at divorce in a new light.

Seeing the “Positive” in the “Negative”

Societal norms often frame divorce in a negative light. While divorce may not have been your plan while saying “I do,” a split from your spouse is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it is often the best thing for individuals who are getting divorced. Our attorneys find that by shedding new light on the “negatives” of divorce, many spouses begin to see the positives that can come from this life change.

  1. Giving Up Mutual Security to Give Yourself a New Start: One of the biggest fears that divorcing couples have is change. Starting a new life after your initial plan failed to work out can be a stressful experience and can even keep people in unhappy marriages. Though you may be giving up the “security” that you have with your spouse, this security can often make you give up your happiness. Having another person by your side may feel like safety, but getting to choose your happiness and rely on yourself along the way is the biggest life security of all.
  2. Two Parents Does Not Mean Better Parenting: Married couples with children can often stay in their relationship for their children’s sake, thinking that having two parents under one household is better for their kids. While this line of thinking is understandable, what many parents fail to recognize is the attention that their children give their parents' interaction. Many parents will try and “fake it till they make it” until their children are out of the house but do not realize that kids can sense the tension between their parents. Experts have found that children do better in a less contentious environment rather than seeing the effects of an unhealthy relationship.
  3. Moving On and Moving Up: Individuals going through a divorce are not doomed to an eternity of solitude. Those who are in unhappy relationships may remain in them thinking that they are too old to find another partner. As more and more middle-aged individuals are getting divorced, the dating pool continues to grow for those who consider themselves past the age of dating. Whether or not you find another partner, you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, even if that person is yourself.

Call a Novi, MI, Divorce Attorney for Help

Calling a divorce attorney may seem like the final step in the divorce process; however, it does not necessarily mean that you must have made up your mind. Sometimes, speaking to a legal professional can help you make your decision one way or the other. At Elkouri Heath, PLC, we offer advice for those considering divorce or those looking for an attorney to represent their case. With over 23 years of experience, our attorneys have worked with a variety of couples, each with their own unique situation, and have gained extensive knowledge about the legal and emotional side of divorce. If you are considering divorce, contact our Oakland County divorce lawyers for a free consultation at 248-344-9700 today.

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Posted on in Divorce

Novi, MI divorce attorneyWhile marriages are usually intended to last forever, many do not make it that far. When a marriage ends in divorce, there are usually a variety of factors that led to its demise. Some couples grow apart; others realize their compatibility does not last an entire lifetime. Each couple may be unique, but studies have shown that many divorcing couples experience similar issues that lead to the breakdown of their marriage. These include:

1. Refusal to Work on Mental Health Issues

Many individuals suffer from mental health issues, yet some refuse to seek professional help. If one partner is dealing with a mental illness such as anxiety or depression, their actions not only affect themselves but their spouse and other family members as well. The other spouse may struggle to understand their partner’s struggles, especially if they do not appear to be taking active steps to improve. If one spouse refuses to seek professional help for a mental illness, the impact on their relationship can be detrimental and eventually lead to divorce. 

2. Dangerous Addictions

In a marriage, it is important for couples to prioritize their relationship and the life they are building together. For those that struggle with substance abuse, it can be easy for their marriage to get placed on the back burner. A spouse's personality may change when they are drinking, or they may become dangerous as a result of their drug use, and in many cases, it is unlikely that they will willingly stop using the substances. The other spouse may feel neglected, and they may even suffer physical and emotional abuse, or their spouse may waste marital funds in pursuit of their addictions. As a result of these issues, many spouses will eventually see divorce as their best option.

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Novi, MI divorce attorneyThere are many potential causes for divorce, ranging from infidelity, constant arguments, or financial stress to a couple simply not liking each other anymore. Sometimes, the littlest things your partner does can turn into big problems, especially if they involve passive aggression and a lack of proper communication. But what if the actual cause for a relationship's breakdown was more than miscommunication and instead was neurologically-based? Studies have found that a condition known as misophonia can turn your partner’s pet peeves into your most irritating and unlivable nightmare.

Misophonia Explained

Misophonia is a neurological condition in which a person has an extreme reaction to everyday sounds. To many people with this condition, the most common annoyance is hearing another person chew their food; however, those with misophonia can be bothered by nail-biting, scratching, and even certain breathing noises. Slurping, sipping, and smacking are also irritable noises to those who suffer from the disease. This makes it difficult to enjoy dinner with one's partner or lay down next to them, especially if the natural noises a person makes lead to pain for reasons that are hard to understand.

According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, misophonia affects nearly 20% of the population. This number is likely low, since the condition is underdiagnosed. The exact cause of misophonia is unknown, but neuroscientists have a theory that it may involve an abnormal connection in the brain between the limbic system, autonomic nervous system, and auditory cortex. The limbic system controls emotions, the autonomic nervous system is in charge of flight or fight responses, and the auditory cortex controls hearing. Most people who have misophonia have extra sensitive hearing, causing their discomfort. 

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